Ambiguity at work is about as awesome as slicing my finger while food prepping.
If you’ve been there, you know exactly what I mean.
In the last week alone, I have engaged in three separate conversations that went well beyond the jovial discussion of difficult conversations. These conversations dove in headfirst and dug deep in the soil to find the root of the problem.
Opening with several puns today, how fun.
I’ve offered a couple free introductory webinars around difficult conversations. These have spun into many conversations this summer, particularly a couple in the last week that spoke vividly about the lack of clarity in real situations that were taking place.
Imagine looking for a solution and being deeply vested in said solution, yet you don’t even really know what solution you are seeking nor the problem you are solutioning.
Don’t worry folks… been there… done that.
I recall the time like it was yesterday.
Supervisor called me into his office and proceeded to ask me a couple questions. All of which I had clearly defined answers for and highlighted our department’s progress.
Then he turned the conversation and stated, “I need you to work on building a better relationship with these two leaders,” and he specifically stated which two. I quickly responded, “Is something wrong? Have they addressed something with you?” To which he said no.
I asked, “What is the problem?” He said, “I just need you to get along better with them.”
I then asked if this had to do with issues from an event. He responded, “No, I just want to see the relationships be better.”
Ah, ok. I asked, “What would better look like?” because I had a cloud of dust at the moment.
He said, while stumbling all over his words, “Well, you know, just be better. Eh, um, juuuusst, you know, build a better relationship.”
After some continued back and forth and zero context, I clarified the fact that about a year and a half ago we had a similar talk as a new leader came into this role, and since then we’ve never spoken again and they both seem to be good with our relationships and inner workings of departments.
He finished by simply saying, while stumbling more, “Just make it better with them, we clear?”
I said, “Yes, we are clear as mud. I’ll go out to lunch with each of them separately and have some deep talks.”
Two lunches. Two talks. Two relationships. Two people telling me everything is fine and they don’t understand why I was told any different. They both simply stated, “Continue listening to us in planning meetings and we’ll make adjustments.” We were agreeable and moved on with life.
I went back to my supervisor, explained things, and stated all good. I asked if he had anything further. He stated no. I said ok, I consider this a closed deal.
I also created a follow‑up email. Fortunately, I had to close the loop on two questions that I had previously only provided fifty percent for. In this I also stated the roadmap I followed with the two peers and outcomes while considering this closed.
You may be asking, why is he explaining all this? Understandable.
We’ve spent a lot of time harnessing our talents this summer in the arena of difficult conversations. I continue to see this being such an important piece. I wanted to further push the envelope with ambiguity as it serves as such an opposite of clarity.
Ambiguity doesn’t just slow teams down. It drains confidence, trust, and momentum.
If you avoid clarity, you create chaos. Period.
What happened in that office years ago is happening in workplaces every single day.
You deserve better than vague expectations and cloudy direction.
When you find yourself in a similar situation, remember these keys:
- Gain clarity by asking questions
- Learn desired outcomes
- Define what “being better” means and looks like
- Close the loop
While each step is important, closing the loop is critical, especially if you are in a semi‑compromising situation. That follow‑up email not only affords itself as your statement adhering to what you believe is needed, it also gives that supervisor a chance to respond should anything be misaligned from their perspective.
Supervisors, if this is you, for the love of all humanity STOP. Seriously, we are already overloaded with work and competing demands and priorities. Nobody has time for mind games and ambiguous behavior. If there is an issue, attack it head on and host the difficult conversation. After all, that is your role as a leader.
To everyone else, follow these steps and guide yourself because we know everyone is trying to simply do what is best.
I help leaders cut through the fog and build clarity that actually moves teams forward.
If you need help at either end of this situation, I’d relish the opportunity to be your guide or facilitate a workshop with your team.
We are days away from the end of summer and start of the school year. Let’s enjoy this time and build our teams forward. Remember, everyone likes popsicles and ice cream.
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